Dream Diary Jan 10

I was in a treehouse and I was smoking marijuana with 2 friends. It seemed like this was the treehouse at my husbands house when he was a child. I was hiding from his family, as this is how I feel when I am around them, that I have to hide.

I felt dirty, like I had to hide my true personality and that i could not be myself. I was hanging out and someone came up to the treehouse and told us they were having a party down in the backyard. It was something I was not told. Had i made myself completely invisible to them or had they created so many issues I had to make myself invisible to cope?

Some people came upto the treehouse, including family members. I uttered the words that I did not like my family anyway and 2 of the members of the family were shocked. I had to explain why that they had made no effort to communicate with us or see our daughter for a year. There was so much hurt of no connection, little connection made over the past 7 years, that how could I want to have them in my life? I reminded these people that it was not their fault but the issue of not being able to be honest made my communication void and my damaging words encompass more people than just the perpetrators.

I got very upset and cried. I decided to run off, I dropped my phone, I had no shoes on, and I ran, I ran like my life depended on it. I hid so they did not see I was there and I slid out a side door.

I felt free.