People need people! — who can you support today, tomorrow, or another day? Lets end mental health and disorder stigma

Even when life can look, feel and seem better — we can still have challenges that bubble up.

Take care of yourself — self care is the most important thing.

We are moving past a societal expectation of “get over it” and moving into a really positive callout of lets end stigma of mental health and talking about it more and more.

I’ve always been open about my worst days, and I was just reflecting about how we separated last year, and how important that was for us.

I was sad, I was depressed, I was even suicidal.

But it has changed my whole thinking and being — and at a time I was caring for an adult who was experiencing constant PTSD blackouts and a child who was also experiencing her own experiences with her ASD — we are now navigating a whole new life and it looks better than ever.

We are growing our relationships within our home so we can grow our relationships outside of our home — because that’s where it all starts.

Last year I thought my life was over. I could not see the next day for what it was — I was either constantly looking into the past or into the future for a glimmer of hope.

But what came out of what I can’t believe was a year ago — was an even bigger challenge — working out how to function as a household again.

I had experienced severe depression and anxiety since I was 15 — to the point of being suicidal many times and even agoraphobic for a while in Perth. Kane also experienced similar — suicidal at the age of 10 and last year he stopped leaving the house for a long period of time.

The fact we got through it is testament to those who pulled me aside at work and said “hey you don’t seem okay — what’s going on?” and weren’t afraid of the tears that followed. Those people saved my life.

The support from my parents who humbly supported my panic move out of our home so I could have my own space and be able to sleep again — find who I was again — get some respite from what had been happening at home. They took it in their stride because life is not the way we think it’s going to be — or looks like from the outside.

Support from close friends who listened to my every whinge, sook, who took my calls to hear me breakdown, messaged me on FB to make sure I was okay — because they knew how vulnerable I was feeling and just gave a shit about my existence.

We are often only the support around us. Those people wh say “hey wanna go for a coffee?”, “hey wanna go for a walk”.

I am forever grateful, because I am witnessing my family grow in ways I could never imagined. We are facing all our “shit” and finding confidence within ourselves.

I pushed for a diagnosis for Lily and that has come through with optimism for her future — her therapies are fantastic and we are really learning about each other through it all.

Deciding to homeschool Lily — so she can be herself — and not feel extreme anxiety and stress due to sensory overwhelm every single day — because we both know that pain and something had to change! When the school made it sound like it was “home life” — boy did I prove them wrong!

I’ve spent my life having to really push my own boundaries to live a life I didn’t know I would get to — I didn’t know if we would ever move out of a constant trauma response space — but we did and we are here.

2 nights ago when I was having a mini stress breakdown — possibly from the gluten challenge I’ve been doing (gluten is not my friend at all), my husband who once upon a time could not see or connect that I was so exhausted and upset and left for work when I was crying with my baby on the ground saying I couldn’t do it one more day on my own….. he picked me up on my cranky shit, he asked me if I needed him to take an extra day off a week and he did it no questions asked. When I cried about that — because I felt bad — he hugged me and said, “there’s no way I’m not doing it whether they get annoyed or not, this is important.”

And this is how we recognise that even those who have experienced suicidal thoughts at 10, who have extensive trauma responses to memories (blackouts) and for one part of their life can’t respond the way they should/could/want to or even leave the house — they can be loved, supported and motivated to really be the best version of themselves in that moment.

Watching us all build each other up is the best system a family can be. It isn’t perfect, but we love each other no matter what and we are present in each others lives as much as we can be.

Right now life looks fab — we are both on our way to careers we actually want to be in to make a difference in our local world, we are moving towards further independence and yet, here I am having a stress breakdown — even though I meditate everyday and monitor my energy A L O T!

We are always still growing and evolving and that’s what human existence was meant to be. Not writing those off who have mental health, or have a disorder, or not supporting those who look like they are lazy, or judging them for what they are going through because they should just suck it up and push through.

That is not healthy, it is not the way humans can survive.

It is time for a big shift in what we expect people at THEIR capacity to be and grow.

Really see them for who they are, listen to their experiences and love them for where they are.

I know others have cringed at how public I am and have been around my mental health and I have even been accused of attention seeking when putting poetry out into the public space. But, this is the only way we have conversations and how we change mindsets and reflect as human beings in a (at times) bizarre experience and know that you can ALWAYS grow in your thoughts and in your heart.

People NEED people — it is proven that we need connected relationships to grow and evolve — who can you be there for today, tomorrow, or another day?

❤