Whilst walking today I saw the leaves were red brown gold and green
Such a beautiful sight to be seen
When the rains start to fall
and the grass grows tall.
.
I dont always notice the season
But I noticed it was autumn for a reason
It was this time last year i found myself in a struggle
Rushing here and there life was such a juggle.
.
Panic and anxiety were two friends of mine
Not really a friendship you want all the time
I was disconnected from the world inside me
Lost in the outer world that wouldn’t let me be.
.
Seeing the leaves today
Brought me back to the day
where I was at my worst and found some leaves
I used them with a painting as i had pain to ease.
.
I painted on my wrists a bright colour red
And curled up in a state on my bed
I shook in the fear of what was going on
I felt so alone and it felt so wrong.
.
In that moment of fear, pain and wanting to be free
I could hear someone calling out to me
She wanted to be released from within
It was then my journey to painting was to begin.
.
So even though at first the recollection was hard
I took some time to cut out some card
Took some different colour leaves home
To reflect and paint how far I’ve come.